Tuesday, December 03, 2024

 

A quick note about the "alien invasion" that had been predicted to occur on December 3, 2024

About the alien invasion predicted for December 3, 2024: 

First, the good news for those hardcore NHI believers and fans of ufology on social media and popular podcasts.

It happened as predicted. You were right.

The bad news is that you missed it.

I had been taking my daily morning walk along a snowy path in a field in Charleswood, Manitoba, when a dazzling light shone down from the sky onto a patch of exposed grass near me. Onto this patch of hard soil and vegetation landed a domed, saucer-shaped vehicle about 35 feet in diameter and 15 feet in height. The craft seemed metallic, with no apparent seams or rivets, but took on the appearance of burnished brass or aluminum.

Suddenly, a small door opened in the side of the space vehicle (for what else could it have been?) and out of it emerged a small, strange creature. Not the usual almond-eyed grey that many see, nor like an insect, nor an armored thing like a Predator. But it was more like a small, furry dwarfskinnier and more articulated than an Ewok, and not green like Yoda but kind of beige color with an eggshell-like texture to its skin. (It was naked, except for what looked like purple swimming trunks on its lower body.)

It marched up to me and I was shocked to hear it say in perfect English (with a bit of a Scottish accent, for some reason): “Stand still, Earthling, for your planet is being invaded as I speak! I am Kotorg, Advance Sentry of the Imperial Commander from the planet Ixbez, and I am here to prepare the way for our Strike Force. Your planet will be destroyed and humans will suffer greatly!”

I was quite taken aback by this diminutive alien and did as it obeyed, for I noted it was holding a device in one of its hands: a potato-shaped thing with a nozzle pointing in my direction, and I didn’t want to get zapped or disintegrated.

“As the first Earthling we have encountered, you will be instrumental in conveying our orders to others on your planet,” it intoned in a high-pitched, yet raspy voice. “Take me to your leader!”

Surprised by hearing such a comedic line, I asked, “Which one?”

The little alien seemed puzzled by my reply, and retorted, “What do you mean? There is no one who speaks for your planet?”

I then patiently explained that at the moment there was a leader in our country, but a leader-elect in another, with a different leader currently in power.

I continued: “Of course, there are leaders of individual towns and cities, and leaders of states and provinces, and leaders of other countries around. You may have meant to ask about spiritual leaders, of which there is one in Rome, but also in Iran, London, China, and Japan, not to mention hundreds of other faiths.

“You might also have meant the most prominent head of our society, which at the moment is a popular entertainer on tour and whom millions adore.

“Or perhaps a military leader, of which there are many in individual countries and cantons around the world. Many of these are at the moment engaged in war with each other, dropping bombs and attacking citizens with missiles and warheads, laying waste to the Earth itself. In fact, there is concern that a nuclear device used in an offensive attack could level all of Earth.

“Naturally, Earthlings have created a society where individuals can express dissatisfaction with leadership and petition for better services and programs to preserve flora and faunaand humans. Unfortunately, humans are fickle and tend to make poor choices, so that our oceans are polluted, our air is fouled by carbon and smog, and we value life only minimally.”

I paused, then asked, “So to whom would you like to be taken?”

The fuzzy alien stared at me, then looked back over its shoulder to the disc-shaped spaceship. It turned again to me and said: “Never mind. You Earthlings are already in the process of destroying your planet and making one another suffer. Our invasion is hardly necessary. We will be back in a billion or your years to invade the next civilization that will rise after yours has collapsed and vanished.”

And with that, the little creature climbed back aboard its flying saucer, The door closed and it took off into outer space.

I suppose the invasion was cancelled.

I continued on with my walk, enjoying the brisk December air. When I returned home, I checked social media to see what was new.

I wonder what posts will be trending today.


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