Monday, July 08, 2013


World UFO Day Celebrations!

Today is the 66th anniversary of the famous (or infamous) Roswell UFO Crash of 1947. This day is recognized as World UFO Day by many ufology adherents.

On World UFO Day, UFO buffs have fond memories of waking up to the wafting odor of traditional Simonton Flapjacks cooked by their mothers for a hearty breakfast, and after gobbling them down hungrily, washing them down with a cold glass of Tang.

Then it’s off to the fairgrounds where carnies have set up space coasters and spinning saucer rides. Mylar balloons are sought after by youngsters and whack-an-alien and other games of skill are challenged by teenagers, eager to show off to their friends. Temporary tattoos of ornate crop formations are often applied to all and sundry, their amazing spirals and curlicues carefully mimicking those that mysteriously appeared overnight in the fields just outside the town. The scent of lavender imported from French saucer nests drifts across the pastoral scene.

And oh! The games and frivolity! It’s fun to watch members of the UFO community dress like historical figures such as “Philip Klass” and watch “him” eat “humble pie” and other delicacies. The lucky person costumed as “Allen Hynek” gets to smoke the scared pipe of honor, and the “George Adamski” flips burgers at lunchtime. Mock battles erupt between groups of children dressed as “greys” and “reptilians,” although recently it has been trendy for “blondes” to intervene as well! Later, the unfortunate person dressed as the “scapegoat,” “Edward Condon” has to stand inside rings of fairy mushrooms and endure getting pelted by eggs, and other indignities. And every year, disappointingly, there are some muggles who play an embarrassing game of Frisbee. How drole!

Across the way, hucksters sell their wares from booths set up along aisles positioned perfectly as the “Nasca Lines.” One can buy star maps showing the way to Zeta Reticuli, “real” Maury Island slag, tiny ceramic alien implants and “NSA-proof” tinfoil hats.

By late afternoon, it’s time for a feast featuring―what else?―beef from mutilated cows, fresh from Snippy Ranch. The colorful costumes of Unarians are delightful to view as they march around the dining area chanting before supper. For dinner, there’s bread made from wheat picked from inside crop circles, corn from British corn circles and mushrooms from the fairy rings.

After dinner, when the dishes are washed and put away, and the Sun has set, everyone goes outside to send up Chinese paper lanterns so that others can report UFOs and get shot down in flames. What a charming spectacle!

But the most memorable part of this day occurs late in the evening, when families go home and get settled in for the night. They all gather around the Socorro bush decorated with brightly-colored angel hair, and the children listen intently as an elder reads from “It Was The Day After Roswell,” a fanciful classic of ufological literature. Its pages contain such memorable verses as: “On Oberg! On Randles! On Hopkins and Randi! On Friedman! On Meier! On Bell and Rutkowski! From the rooftops they clattered, their voices celestial: ‘Come visit us, please, thou extraterrestrial!’”

Then, just before bedtime, the entire household joins to sing Roswell carols such as: “O Little Town of Rendelsham,” “What Hybrid is This?” and the kids’ favorite: “I Saw Mommy Getting Abducted.”

So today, spend some time with your loved ones and share this day with them. Gaze upward into the night sky and make a wish on the first NOSS satellite that you see.

Happy World UFO Day to you and yours!


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